


Medically (In)Sane and (Un)Professional

by saintsugoi



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Gen, M/M, Medical Malpractice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 06:10:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14326290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saintsugoi/pseuds/saintsugoi
Summary: scout confronts the medic.





	Medically (In)Sane and (Un)Professional

**Author's Note:**

> hey, what’s up guys? I’m pretty sure this is the first non-explicit fanfic I’ve written for tf2 lol. anyway, I’m really proud of this and I’ll be putting up a new chapter soon.

it wasn’t always easy to go after someone who was after other’s hearts. in a literal and figurative way, no doubt. scout figured he was the exception, the fact medic thought he was too weak, scrawny and annoying to even be considered as an appropriate heart-stealing candidate was ego-shattering. scout took personal offense to this, egging on the poor doctor -about how he was the best and ‘why don’t you believe me?’- who in turn, exchanged looks of disbelief with whoever was closest. nobody liked being cut open, but there were two things that scout knew he didn’t have-

the medic’s affection and an über implant. 

everyone else had described hearing a clicking in their chest, which means they had one. scout had sat in his bedroom one night quietly, waiting to hear it just as everyone else had done. alas, there was nothing, and scout was pissed. 

was that the reason he wouldn’t über him on the field? or did medic just hate his guts, and as a sadist liked to see him suffer? he didn’t know, and frankly it was driving him insane. 

it’s not like he could tell anyone. they’d all just point and laugh at him for bitching. 

‘don’t be a pansy, scout.’  
‘medic has better things to do, scout.’  
‘are you getting hurt that he isn’t healing you? what a joke!’

scout figured it was just by how the doctor saw him. sure, he was clingy and annoying with an in-your-face attitude and a lust for batting in skulls, but he was one of the guys too! hell, him and sniper were barely distant in age and he still got extra buffs from medic. frankly, it was almost like he was choosing favorites. 

it wasn’t out of the ordinary for that either. scout knew who was and wasn’t his favorite person to heal. the medigun may as well just been heavy’s dildo since it was constantly shoved up his ass ramped up on overheal. he also knew that he didn’t exactly care for soldier nor demo, knowing that at a split second they would injure themselves while over in enemy territory, inaccessible to himself or anyone else, and usually prone to a scolding. 

he figured one day that something should be done about medic’s unfair biases. it was still early, and he knew when medic stirred about during most times of the day, considering the doctor certainly was flamboyant and magnetic without trying. that was the thing; scout couldn’t even stay mad at medic because he liked him so much. not only in a friend way, but in a little pansy boy crush way. he didn’t even know why he liked medic. he was criminally insane and would violate the law and everyone’s morality just to get his hands on a new test subject. 

that was the other problem. 

he felt gross, thinking about medic like that. that’s the same way he thought about miss pauling, right? that was no way to imagine a teammate, or a friend. besides, medic was the oldest member on the team, so wouldn’t it be a little gross? on the other hand- scout thought this was a genius plan- if it would get him some attention and frequent healing, he’d gladly bow at his feet at his beck and call. he would get stepped on, beaten, bruised, scratched, blown up, and cut open for some kind of recognition for how much he carried his freakin’ team, and how much medic needed him as well. 

it was time to go to the infirmary and sort out what was what.  
—  
scout always had jeebies about this place. medic’s infirmary was creepy in a very sterile, clean kind of way. it always smelled of antiseptic and coffee and had bird feathers littered about the white tile floor. it looked like a place where a mad scientist would be construct a frankenstein. funnily enough, medic said he would try that in the near future if his team would be ‘so generous as to donate limbs to the poor’. 

scout peeked around, looking for the doctor. he glanced over at the operating table, shivering. who knows what went down on that thing. he walked further into the room, closing the heavy door behind him and scanning by medic’s desk. nothing but a bird of his sitting and idly ruffling its feathers. 

“yo, you know where medic is, lil’ guy?” Scout asked, brushing a finger over its head. a soft coo was its response, propelling itself to the top of the open birdcage sitting a distance away from the doctor’s desk, right next to the door to his private room. 

scout was tempted to peek inside, but last time someone had done that, he’d heard rumors of a brutal beatdown and a broken nose. he let it be, only imagination filling in the blank of what could be there. then he heard a noise, and flinched. it sounded like the door creaking open, and the voices of medic and another person. he decided to stand up and face his fate, heading towards the pair with determination written into his features. 

they stopped their conversation- unsurprisingly, it was heavy who was joining the doctor- when scout started to walk past them, heart racing with anxiety static through his nerves. 

“is there... something i can help you with, scout?” medic asked, pushing his thin rimmed glasses up the sharp bridge of his nose. 

“ah, yeah... i was wonderin’ if i could talk to ya about it alone...?” the runner asked sheepishly, scratching the back of his neck. medic and heavy exchanged looks of curiosity, then concern. 

“well, you’re more than welcome. i just needed heavy for a blood type sample. i’m working on something revolutionary, which requires only a small amount of hemoglobin cells and the person’s dna to bring them back from the dead!” he looked enthusiastic, almost childlike in a way. 

scout nodded, taking a seat at one of the chairs sat opposite of medic’s chair at his desk. heavy and medic went into the other part of the infirmary, while scout listened to their lively laughter alongside medic’s coos of reassurance. he heavily sighed from his nose, slumping his head in one of his hands. 

once they were done, heavy departed and it was eerily quiet once again. he could feel the awkwardness radiating throughout the room, hearing medic humming something unfamiliar while storing something on a nearby shelf. 

“so, while i’m not face to face with you, would you mind telling me the issue? my patients have found me to be more menacing when in a close proximity.”

“maybe ‘cause ya cut people open for a livin’?” scout joked, leaning back in his chair. “the blood on yer face has to creep ‘em out, i’m sure.”

“sure, but it’s not as fun just being a normal doctor.” medic replied, sat across from scout, lacing his fingers together. “plus, the blood proves my hard work.”

“yeah,” he smirks. “can i share my issue with ya now?”

“oh, ja. go ahead,” medic leaned forward a little more, smiling devilishly. “do i know what this is about?” 

“well....” he trailed off, grimacing and sucking in a breath through his teeth. medic looked at him, his faded gray eyes meeting scout’s baby blue ones. 

“alright, doc. i’m gonna be honest with ya- i don’t feel like i’m...” oh god, this was it. scout was about to be made into a laughing stock. he took a deep breath, and- “i don’t feel like i’m getting any attention from you! you always seem to heal and über everyone else, but not me!” his tone quieted. “is- is there a reason?”

medic stared, his eyes showing a spectrum of emotions in just a few seconds. 

“also,” scout continued. “why didn’t you give me an implant?”

medic perked up, neutrality still masking his expression. “was? what do you mean?”

“ok, so you know how everyone else said they can hear some kinda clickin’ noise in their chest right? i can’t.”

medic paused. he couldn’t believe he had finally figured it out. he remembered butting heads with spy, who insisted he didn’t need it. the doctor had claimed that ridiculous, saying it was only procedure and that miss pauling would personally murder him if he didn’t. the heated debate eventually resulted in medic just flat out forgetting, making the assassin’s job a lot easier. 

medic seethed. part of this was his fault, but a certain individual in a mask would feel what he was going to do into next battle. 

“scout, if you’re so concerned, we can do it right now.”

scout beamed, and it was a surprisingly pleasant sight to intrude the doctor’s thoughts. 

“thanks, doc!” he got up and followed him into the surgery room.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fanfic over 1000 words too lmao. anyway, more on the way! ;)


End file.
